1.I Believe In A Thing Called Love
Can't explain all the feelings that you're making me feel
My heart's in overdrive
and you're behind the steering wheel
Touching you, touching me
Touching you, ya you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
HuuuH!
I wanna kiss you every minute, every hour, every day
You got me in a spin but everything is A.OK!
Touching you, touching me
Touching you, ya you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Ooh! Guitar!
Touching you, touching me
Touching you, ya you're touching me
I believe in a thing called love
Just listen to the rhythm of my heart
There's a chance we could make it now
We'll be rocking 'til the sun goes down
I believe in a thing called love
Aah
2.One Way Ticket
It was a dusty old night and I'm the first to admit it
I'm sure I upset someone but my memory has chosen to omit it
A tiny voice telling me I really should cool it
Chewing my face off talking absolute rubbish
The first line hit me like a kick in the face
I thought 'I'd better have another one just in case'
Next thing I knew, my heart was under attack
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...
I've always tried to keep my vices under wraps
But a coach-load of mutes would appear talkative chaps
If they had seen fit to join me for a couple of hits
Now my septum is in tatters and I've still got the runs
Burned for a moment, then it kicked like a mule
The strangers I recruited thought it was rocket fuel
Several massive choking lines of glorious gack
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...
Stick it up your f＊＊＊ing nose!
Holding court, repeating myself,
each repetition slightly louder
Pausing just long enough to snort the white powder
The wheels came off but I'm still on track
I bought a one way ticket to hell...and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell and back
One way ticket to hell and back
Bought a one way ticket to hell...
3.Love is Only a Feeling
The first flush of youth was upon you when our eyes first met
And I knew that to you and into your life I had to get
I felt light-headed at the touch of this stranger's hand
An assault my defences systematically failed to withstand
'Cos you came at a time
When the pursuit of one true love in which to fall
Was the be all and end all
Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing
(It's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling
Anyway
The state of elation that this unison of hearts achieved
I had seen, I had touched, I had tasted and I truly believed
That the light of my life
Would tear a hole right through each cloud that scudded by
Just to beam on you and I
Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
When I'm in your arms I start believing
(It's here to stay)
But love is only a feeling
Anyway, anyway
Love is only a feeling
(Drifting away)
And we've got to stop ourselves believing
(It's here to stay)
'Cos love is only a feeling
Anyway.
4.Is It Just Me
I know that absence might
Make the heart grow fonder
Or is it 'out of sight'
Out of mind' I wonder
And do you yearn for me
When the nights grow cold
'Til death us do part
To have and to hold
I wanna give you my love, my love, my love
But is it just me or am I all on my own again？
You're up at John O Groats, I'm down in Land's End
On you I depend
I see your face
When I close my eyes
And there ain't no place
Like between your thighs
Don't want a life alone
All by myself
To honor and trust
In sickness and health
I wanna give you my love, my love, my love
But is it just me or am I all on my own again？
You're in the Taj Mahal, I'm outside Big Ben
It's driving me round the bend
Forever and ever
And ever, amen
I wanna give you my love, my love, my love
But is it just me or am I all on my own again
is it just me or am I all on my own again
You're in the Vatican, I'm in the Yemen
And it feels like the end
5.Growing on Me
I can't get rid of you
I don't know what to do
I don't even know who is growing on who
'Cos everywhere I go you're there
I Can't get you out of my hair
I Can't pretend that I don't care - it's not fair
I'm (being) punished for all my offences
I wanna touch you but I'm afraid of the consequences
I wanna banish you from whence you came
But you're part of me now
And I've only got myself to blame
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
I think i see
Sleeping in an empty bed
Can't get you off my head
I won't have a life until you're dead
Yes, you heard what I said
I wanna shake you off but you just won't go
And you're all over me but I don't want anyone to know
That you're attached to me, that's how you've grown
Won't you leave me, leave me alone
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
I think i see
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
You're really growing on me
(Or am I growing on you？)
6.Girlfriend
Girl, I know I've got a funny way
Of showing it
Yes, I thought our love was here to stay
and blowing it
Was never on my agenda
She meant nothing to me, I meant nothing to her
And now I realise it's over
I've just got to tell yer
Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much
Girl I know I ripped your heart right out
so why pretend
that there is even a shadow of doubt
that it's the end
Why the hell are we breaking our necks
Where there's absolutely no affection, hardly any sex
To simplify something that extremely complex
You were my girlfriend, now you're my ex...
Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much
Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much
Girlfriend, I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much
I love you, I love you, I love you so much so much
7.Get Your Hands Off My Woman
You are drunk and you are surly
In Latino lover mode
We all know what's on your agenda
You've broken the code
Oh I've got no right to lay claim to her frame
She's not my possession
You cunt.
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Yeah
Octoped, you've got six hands too many
And you can't keep them to yourself
You're too fat and too old to marry
So they left you on the shelf
Oh I've got no right to lay claim to her frame
But you soiled my obsession
You cunt.
Yeah!
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Yeah!
Ow!
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Ow!
Get your hands off my woman motherfucker
Get your hands off my woman motherfuuuuuuuuuuckaaaaa!
8.Black Shuck
In a town in the east
The parishioners were visited upon
By a curious beast
And his eyes numbered but one and shone like the sun
And a glance beckoned the immediate loss
Of a cherished one
It was the coming of the
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
Flames licked round the sacred spire
And the congregation's last line of defence
Was engulfed in fire
As the flaming priest stepped into the firing line
On the business end of despair
God, he took his own life
During the coming of the
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
A nimbus of blue light surrounds a crimson paw
As he takes another fatal swipe
At the Blytheburgh Church Door
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) Black Shuck
(Black Shuck) That dog don't give a fuck
Woof!
9.Givin' Up
My mamma wants to know
Where I'm spending all my dough
Honey, all she does is nag, nag, nag
But I won't apologise
I'd inject into my eyes
If there was nowhere else to stick my skag
All I want is brown
And I'm going into town
Shooting up as soon as I'm back
My friends have got some good shit
All I want is some of it
Gimme, gimme, gimme that smack
Well I've ruined nearly all of my veins
Sticking that fucking shit into my arms
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Getting off my face
There's a dragon I must chase
Honey, I'm the scourge of all mankind
And everyone but me
Is destined just to be
Slaves to the remorseless grind
But I found myself an easy way out
Sticking that fucking shit into my arms
Into my arms
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh
Givin' up, givin' up givin' a fuck
10.Stuck in a Rut
Kiss my arse, kiss my arse goodbye
Propelled by a carriage of aluminium am I
No more to rot in this sty
Turn my back on this shit-hole in the blink of an eye
Gimme the keys
You ain't gonna see me for dust
The Barnby Bends ain't gonna get the better of me
Gimme the keys
To any old bucket of rust
The Acle Straights are gonna take me to where I wanna be
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
The road is long and the lights are bright
Just 'cos you've lived here
all your life doesn't make it alright
And the Golden Mile is paved with shite
Don't mind telling you I'm sick of walking up
and down it every single fucking night
Gimme the keys
You ain't gonna see me for dust
The Barnby Bends ain't gonna get the better of me
Gimme the keys
To any old bucket of rust
The Acle Straights are gonna take me to where I wanna be
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
Stuck in a rut
Stuck in a rut for eternity
11.Friday Night
Hey you!
Do you remember me
I used to sit next to you at school
We indulged in all the extra-curricular activites
We weren't particularly cool
Monday cycling
Tuesday gymnastics
Dancing on a Friday night
I got Bridge Club on Wednesday
Archery on Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night
Hey you!
Could you ever fall for me
The way I fell for you
And do you dwell upon the thoughts that I occupy
Or do you give yourself things to do？
Monday rowing
Tuesday badminton
Dancing on a Friday night
I got ping pong on Wednesday
Needlework on Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night
With you, you.
Monday, Tuesday
Wednesday, Thursday
Dancing on a Friday night
Let the music smother me
Whole weekend recovery
Dancing on a Friday night
See the lady I adore
Dancing on the dancing floor
Dancing on a Friday night
God, the way she moves me
To write bad poetry
Dancing on a Friday night
Friday night
12.Love on the Rocks With No Ice
You can't abide my showing fatigue
When you come home just to relay
All the events that made your heart bleed
And the ones that ruined your day
We're not as close
As everybody thinks
In the eye of the storm
We keep each other warm
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
So many issues we should address
'Cos our lives just don't correlate
All the emotions that we suppress
Bite our tongues until it's too late
We're not as close
As we used to be - you and me
In the eye of the storm
We keep each other warm
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
Love on the rocks
You'd do anything for a quiet life
Love on the rocks
Love on the rocks with no ice
Love on the rocks with no ice
13.Holding My Own
Baby, everything has fallen into place
My life is so exciting now I've got my space
Like a splash of water on my face
Lately I'm doing what I can do to pleasure me
I'm finding time to focus on my fantasies
I'm satisfied in my own company
I don't need your permission
To take this matter in my own two hands
'Cos I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through
Lady, all we seem to do is talk about
We take apart and analyse our ins and outs
Honey, I would rather do without
No-one to answer to
I won't spend another lifetime begging you
'Cos I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through
I'm holding my own
There's a spring in my stride
There's a twinkle in my dying eyes
'Cos I'm holding my own
Give or take a tear or two
I'm holding my own
No matter what I put myself through
14.Knockers
Oh lord, I'm so bored
Living on my own
You're devilish and dirty
They say your pushing thirty
Well pushing thirty stone
Oh Christ, I'm enticed
I want you in my sack
Your potty mouth is pushy
You're anything but classy
I've just got to get you back
It's been a while,
Since I've seen that smile
Is the old magic still there？
I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
Oh!
Oh crumbs, I'm all thumbs
Lying here with you
You're beautiful and busty
But I'm a little rusty
I've forgotten what to do
It's been a while
Since I made you smile
Is the old magic still there？
I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
I just love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
Oh yeah!
I love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
I really love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
I love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
I really love what you've done with your hair...oh yeah!
15.Dinner Lady Arms
We had a good thing, it was a blast
That was a long time in the past
You went through changes ＆ I went away
And I have regretted that to this day
I may not always have quite so much hair
But what you saw in me will hopefully always be there
I'll never hurt you again, I swear
So put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
I couldn't figure out where you'd figure I'd gone
thought that I could live without you baby I was so wrong
Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
Your dinner lady arms
Forgive and forget I caused you some pain
Find it in your heart to start again
Now I may not ever be your Mister Right
But I'm happy to be your mister that will do for tonight
I'll never let you out of my sight.
So put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
I couldn't figure out where you'd figure I'd gone
thought that I could live without you baby I was so wrong
Put your arrrrrms around me, your dinner lady arms
I may be light years past of my sell-by date
But there's life in the old dog yet honey,It's not too late
Put your arrrrrms around me,
your dinner lady arms
16.Seemed Like A Good Idea At The Time
We may not get back what we had, what I threw away
But you know I would do anything, anything to say
I'd cross a thousand miles of broken glass on my hands and knees
I would crawl if for a moment we could cease hostilities
But it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start again
Now our dream is over, believe me I'm all down
You always seem to come alive when I am not around
And it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start
But it seemed like such a good idea at the time,
such a very very good idea at the time.
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
either way let's start again
I don't know where I am, I don't know where I went wrong
I don't know where to start
17.Hazel Eyes
I hail from the flatlands of East Anglia
A town that once could boast prosperity
She had trekked for many moons from a land afar
But the cruel nets had emptied the northen sea
And she said 'hoots, I cannae get back tae
me hoos in bonny Scotland'
Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah!
Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah!
The elements had taken their toll on her
Her face was weather beaten and her hair greasy
I had never seen a set of eyes more hazelerer
And a tear did fall as she looked up at me
And she said 'hoots, I cannae get back tae
me hoos in bonny Scotland'
Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah!
Girl with the hazel eyes - Aaaaah!
I shall travel with thee
For to see your folks in Scotland
With their blessing, on one knee
I shall ask for your left hand
I shall travel with thee
For to see your folks in Scotland
With their blessing, on one knee
I shall ask for your left hand
18.Bald
It would appear that male pattern
baldness has set in
his hair, at an alarming pace
running away from his face
he's losing his virility
and now his masculinity
has been compromised
and his libido down-sized
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
From what I have been reading
his scalp needs kneading
to stimulate each follicle
and reverse this diabolical
condition that's afflicted he
for years and has cruelly
repulsed each potential mate
and left him with a balding pate
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
Sock it to me baby, yeah!
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Not for me, not for me, not for me, uh-uh
not for me, not for me, heaven forbid
it's not for me you understand
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
Thank God!
Bald, slap headed and hairless
bald he is destined to be
bald, well tonight thank God it's him instead of me.
How？
19.English Country Garden
It was a cigarette break and I was des...perate
I saw her pushing that wheelbarrow
She said have you got a match. I said yes
My cock and Farmer Giles' prizewinning marrow
Frolicking in the summer fields were we
I fell for you and you grew to like me
I carved U 4 me in the bark of a tree
In an English Country Garden
We rolled around kissing on the ground
In an English Country Garden
You succumbed to my charms, fell asleep in my arms
In an English Country Garden
Beneath the stars above I fell in love
In an English Country Garden
Jardin Jardin Jardin Jardin
They did a quiz at the village fete and we came last
Everybody laughed at the two of us
But I've never seen a bale of hay move so fast
She was a bona fide forking genius
Frolicking in the autumn fields were we
I cherished you and you tolerated me
We mucked about while we were mucking out
In an English Country Garden
You took me under your wing when we had our fling
In an English Country Garden
You gave my heart a boost, we ruled the roost
In an English Country Garden
Just as I got broody you got moody
In an English Country Garden
Pulled out all the stops, harvested the crops
In an English Country Garden
The yield was meagre, you were far less eager
In an English Country Garden
The seeds we scattered never really mattered
In an English Country Garden
I saw you leave the farm on another guy's arm
In an English Country Garden
Jardin Jardin Jardin Jardin woooh!
20.Blind Man
Tell me why the blind man cries
Oh, he sheds a tear
because he just can't hear the children singing
How he used to fantasize
Of standing next to some children who are doing singing
Ah!
And the shoulders get colder and colder
And his tears
And his tears fall on deaf ears
Ooh!
Falling apart
At the seams and no-one seems to care
You can't cry forever
Eileen wouldn't want you to, I swear
Now he's just an empty shell
Oh, since Eileen died the other side seems so appealing
Compared to this living hell
Oh, she haunts his sleep,
his wounds too deep for any healing
Ah!
With his arteries starting to harden
She is gone
She is gone and it's all wrong
Falling apart
At the seams and no-one seems to care
You can't cry forever
Eileen would want you to, I swear
So there.
21.Christmas Time (Don't Let The Bells End)
Feinging joy and surprise at the gifts
we despise over mulled wine with you
On the 25th day of the 12th month
The sleigh bells are in time ringing true
How we cling each Noel to that snowflakes and hope in hell
that it won't end
Don't let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Well the weather is cruel,
and the season of Yule warms the heart,
but it still hurts.
You've got your career,
spent the best part of last year apart
and it still hurts
So that's why I pray each and every Christmas day
that it won't end
Don't let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Dust underneath the mistletoe leaves
when you're not here,
You went away upon boxing day,
Now how the hell am I gonna make it into the New Year.
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Christmas time, just let them ring in peace.
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
Christmas time, don't let the bells end
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